1st august

it sucks to know what i actually did when i thought of it more.
i kind of regret it in a way or so.

i cant imagine why im still talking to you in a fine manner as if nothing had happen.
and it really sucks.
it felt like i've lost the battle and am already bowing down to you.
i hate it.
am i being too nice? or what rubbish is it?
guilty conscious?

its because of you that things happen in this way.
though i had to admit im at fault too for not stopping them from playing that particular day.
and thanks to you.
i felt like i lost someone precious to me.
not just one but more.
so much more that i wish i didnt know you in the first place.
and i dont want to.

so stop bugging me, im getting irritated from you being overly-concern and me feeling guilty towards you.
since then, part of my life felt so fuck up.
mark my words and take it seriously.
if its yours, its yours. if not LET IT GO.
im not gonna care much more since i've lost so much.
if im gonna lose more, i dont give a damn anymore.
afterall. what are you?
just a friend would be fine. but youre not. youre stepping over the line.
though i've lost much, there is still mot'05 and the people i know whom are called friends!
therefore, just get out of my life!